If you are looking at this page, you have probably already discovered that it is really difficult. However, in any relationship there are always complicated dynamics based upon who does what and who decides what and how. There are two ways that you can impact the dynamics and willingness of a loved one who is struggling.
First, if the interaction with the person who is struggling or needs ‘convincing’ is affecting you, then coming to us to talk about that can do two important things for you and the relationship. It means that you acknowledge the person’s difficulties are affecting you and you are going to seek some remedy so you can be supported. It also means that the tense atmostphere that can arise when trying to convince someone that they should go to therapy can be discussed and stabilised by you taking the lead and developing a ‘language’ that is less about convincing and more about empowering choice between people.
Second, there is a very well understood practical but difficult position to adopt that talks about ‘letting go with love’. This positions says to the other who is struggling with their wellbeing and thus affecting your wellbeing that ‘because I care about you and want you to be well, I cannot allow myself to be unwell with you, I cannot make you well, or want you to be well for yourself. So, I will go about my life and will still be here to support you when you decide to try and address your difficulties’.
